short jokes...pretty funny

[1]
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.


[2]
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...


[3]
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??


[4]
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple


[5]
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??


[6]
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??


[7]
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??


[8]
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to
take the cigarette out of his
mouth.


[9]
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.


[10]
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of
the mouth.


[11]
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.


[12]
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

[13]
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".



[14]
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".


[15]
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

[16]
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.

[17]
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".


[18]
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance
repeated".

[19]
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly
love".

[20]
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".


[21]
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".

[22]
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and
at the same time."

[23]
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't
punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

good work there!
u learn alot of humor

hahaha
thanks for sharing bro , good job here